A positive flow followed out-the-door-at-the-right-time.

 Being awake before my alarm, I was so grateful. Now I can call it a day, having done my stuff. On to what I enjoy, and even taking a nap may be my choice.

Fortunately, my husband loves relaxation, currently a home body, by choice. But the total  opposite of a couch potato. His book collection fills custom shelving covering two large walls, top to bottom. He is fine with "nothingness," yet my husband is more passionate, insightful and bright than anyone I know. He feeds my intellect.
 I must admit however,  it's likely he does not like that I'm blogging to people I don't know. Yet I'm not wearing my heat on my sleeve, am I? I'm not getting personal, I do not go into detail. Just blab.

At a time I can reflect, not rush...

I feel it's important to write when I'm home, now. So much better as a matter of fact, gosh! Time management is an ongoing task for me, it always has been. Being late is never an issue, I am too consciences. But the struggle of getting there, oy! Are many others are like this? Things seem doable at the time, so I often say "yes."  If I take on an activity to reciprocate, like subbing a class for someone who has subbed for me- that is one thing. 

Other times I somehow ignore my effort. I randomly realized this 3 years ago when I made an appointment for my daughter. I would need to scurry to pick her up at 2:00 (my free time), take her to her to the appointment, then we could both call it a day, no big deal. Scurry to pick her up? Why? Because the office had a 3:00 opening. Alternatively, she could take the bus home, saving me a total 20 minutes, arriving at 3:30 and not miss school. On top of that, I wouldn't need to contact the school to announce on the speaker "daughter, be ready at 2:00, your mom is picking you up." It dawned on me, yay! I hadn't bothered to "trouble" the appointment desk for  later available times. Sure enough, there was a later opening. Yes, dinner time, maybe. So what!  

To accomplish things, I habitually think, "ya gotta get off your butt." That often proceeds to running myself ragged. If the end result leads to very important things... helping to make me a more available person, all is worth it. Otherwise and at the same time, constant arranging and rearranging the schedule seems like a good priority. 

Stuff of Life gets in the way

Trying not to take things too seriously. At least 50% of the time we are wrong, when trying to analyze. And who has time. If we go along doing what we think is right, that is what we live with. What is right? We have to trust ourselves and be mindful at the same time. 

Big Emotions

Big emotions are just that. How are we going to react? If I can place myself to move beyond, putting one foot in front of the other... do the things I plan with clarity... I can react later, maybe. By not buying into my emotions right now, I may be more productive. From the "driver's seat, " rather than sitting in back, I may have a better view. I will reflect later.

Beyond anything to do with coffee

It's getting old quickly, whether or not I have coffee... Enough of how early I awaken or fall asleep, give me a break- how embarrassing. It's my own gig, for which to be dealt... not bore with more detail. 

It's mid afternoon on a 100 degree day. Thinking about avoidance... and lack thereof, occupies me. for a while. What others think, whirls around. I am particularly struck with what my dad thinks. He's a spittin image of perfection in many ways, to many people including myself.   

Family must be perfect and is perfect around him. My dad has encouraged this, and all looks wonderful. Things are wonderful unless they are not. And I have seen beyond the underlying stuff of life. There is nothing for which to be ashamed, unless we are stuck in the wrong place. Why pretend it's all good if we have a problem?  

One should be honored for their awareness that they need to fix something, not ashamed! If something is wrong,  so be it... Not the end of the world. Make it right, don't just sit there and ignore possibilities. Plan B should be supported, not ousted.   

Another cup-a-java

Not having time to write, the last couple mornings was due my getting to bed late. I'm a baby about getting enough sleep, I feel at least 7 hours is important. Late to bedtime detains my early rising routine of coffee, shower, writing and yoga practice. 

Finally realizing the importance of night time routine, will help me redirect my focus from strictly mornings to evenings. No one is going to act on this for me, I must stop acting helpless about taking myself into the bedroom with my reading materials at 9:00pm. It's not okay to crash at 11:00 or 12 if I want to awake by 5:30 or 6:00am. It has dawned on me to use my husband as an example. He's very grounded and focused on what he's doing at the time, whereas I float around other people's doings. My new goal is to make a conscious choice about closing my eyes at a specific time. Willing to do.

2nd cup of coffee will be to go...

I'll treat myself on the way out. Big emotions fill my first couple waking hours. And I've realized it's best to be an observer, rather than react- easier preached than practiced. Reacting, I get stuck in a project, a distraction from getting ready and heading out the door. For example, the impulse to design an area of my home replaced my yoga practice at the studio prior to teaching. Instead, yesterday morning I removed pavers from the back of my garage to the front section of my garden. A make shift patio led to pruning, to perfect the space. Oy! I've got to stop! This morning I will be on the run. A goal to be accomplished early, each weekday. 

Ready for another Cuppa... 

The Handle quote I relayed yesterday, should have read "I would be sorry if I only entertained them, I wished to 'make them better,'" not to "transform them." Making someone "better" or changing someone is not really my desire, however. Nor do I wish to transform. I only write to share. And I want to avoid expressing to friends or family with whom I risk saying too much. 

Today I plan to be more disciplined. Like putting one foot in front of the other, I will take my self through steps, creating momentum. Being in "the driver's seat," so to speak. Not merely reacting to the momentum of other's. But the initial steps... those of a simple morning routine... if I put off, allowing myself time to awaken... lurk in the background like monsters to combat. 

Over Semi-Warm Coffee

A large emotions, I am blessed to feel often feel each morning. Blogging allows others opportunity or to opt out. "I wish not to entertain, but hope this may transform." Handel

Over a semi-warm cup of coffee with not enough rice milk, I view and appreciate a golden glow of sunrise reflecting off leaves... the background of cedar planks overhead. For this view of my property outside my glass doors and screens, I am very thankful. 

With my husband of over one year... I'm finally settling after logistic battles, he helped me to conquer. I'm more grateful "everyday in everyway" (a yogic mantra), Yay! 

All is together, here and now... beyond fragmentation... the scattered, unhealthy a state of being I needed to leave. Here and now all is together. This is the mental, physical and Spiritual space for which I prayed. Moving forward in peace and love I may appreciate these moments... every morning, glow or snow.